Editor’s note: This is a guest post by Robert Bates. He talks about the most unexpected yet common dating deal breakers.
Everyone has those things that just bug them, a pet peeve or just something that they don’t find flattering. There are even the cases of many of those things being widely accepted ‘deal-breakers’ when it comes to a relationship or dating someone. Living at home with the parents, cheating on the person with someone else, and not cleaning yourself up for dates, and abuse of any kind are some of the more common ones. But there are those deal breakers that not everyone would expect to be such a major concern or just never even think about it, until it sneaks up on you.
Here are the most unexpected yet common dating deal breakers that can ruin your relationship:
When two people’s ideas of their future don’t line up, this is often a bit of a surprise to them, especially if they might have been in a relationship for a while (usually only occurring for people that have been in a relationship for some time). Things like not wanting kids or where you want to live, aren’talways things discussed on dates, and many dating advice sites specifically mention that you shouldn’t talk about the future at least on a first date, but it should still be something discussed before things get serious, because the last thing you want is a broken heart because you never talked to your partner about how you wanted to live in a cabin in the woods in the near future and they actually want to move and live in a big city. Don’t let this one catch you by surprise like it does for many couples.
Considering not everyone sleeps with the other person on the first, second, third or even multiple dates this can catch people off guard, but even so, you can’t always see a person’s sleeping habits if you do have sex with them, especially if you aren’t staying the night. Despite all this, it often takes going into a full relationship before sleeping habits actually become a major issue between partners, whether it is because the person snores terribly, or they suck up all the covers, or cling to you in sleep tightly. This is mainly because when you first start dating, you tend to overlook or push aside the things that are small but might bother you because you like the person, but then these things surface later.
Political Viewpoints, Beliefs, and Issues
This one tends to catch the people who will often say ‘I’m not political’. Because you may not be a republican or democrat but chances are you do have some beliefs you adhere to and some things you are adamant about like women’s rights. And although you may have a partner that doesn’t oppose it, people also can become frustrated when the other person doesn’t care or pay attention to that ‘political viewpoint’. This indifference is what has led many couples astray as things seem to be fine since your partner doesn’t care one way or the other, but instead of debates you start resenting that they can’t realize how much this is an important issue or at the very least how important it is to you. Religion can also fall into this category, even for people that ‘aren’t religious’.
When it comes to first dates, there are unfortunately many people who try to be someone they aren’t, or even purposely act as someone they aren’t so that they can impress you, or get you into bed. But in many cases that doesn’t always just last for a few dates or until they slept with you, sometimes the person really is a completely different person all the time with you… until you see them interact with some stranger and then their real self comes shining out.
The way a person treats the strangers around them can actually be a major put-off if they are terrible about it. The best case around this is if you go on a date with a person and they are completely rude to the wait staff and expecting better service, even though you see the staff doing a fine job. This one tends to catch the person who sees the poor stranger treatment completely off-guard, as this person had been so nice and sweet to them, but then terrible to a total stranger!
Everyone is Different and the Same
When it comes down to it, everyone will have their own person ‘turn-offs’ or things that just make them completely let go of a relationship or not even try for it and they can be quite varied too. One person might not like smoking, while another person has to have someone that smokes. A lot of these do come down to personal ideals, even the ones you would think are universal like abuse aren’t always a deal breaker for everyone.
The best you can do is to be honest as to who you are with the other person though, don’t do things you wouldn’t normally do just because they are around you. Even if it means you’ll be rejected some time or have a broken heart, it also means eventually you’ll find the person that is perfectly fine and likes everything about you; the quirks and all.
Author Box: Robert Bates is the owner of topantisnoringdevices and a former snorer himself. He is determined to alert snorers everywhere about the damage snoring can do your health, and the remedies available.